Wow, being a mom is tough! Sometimes I think I have a handle on it, but more often I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. Then there are the times when I just want to cry uncle. This week has been one of those times. If you think diapers and sleepless nights are hard, just you wait. Parenting teenagers is so much harder! Don't get me wrong. I am well aware that my teenagers are about as good as they come. I realize how much I have been blessed, and how much worse off I could be. But as good as I have it, I still feel like I'm in over my head.
I am now the parent of an adult. An adult who is still very young and inexperienced, still in high school, and still in need of guidance. But how to convince her of that? It is such a delicate dance to lead and guide her, while not stepping on her newly emancipated toes. I've never been a very good dancer.
My other teenager just got invited to attend an early college high school that I have always wanted him to go to. It is such a great opportunity, and it has been my dream for him for several years. Only now am I discovering that it is not his dream, in fact, it's more his nightmare. What is a mother to do? If I make him go, he may find he really likes it. On the other hand, he might fall flat on his face because he if he isn't properly motivated, there's no way he'll be able to keep up.
There are so many big decisions, and the stakes are so high. I believe that teens need to be making decisions for themselves, so they will know how to make good decisions once they are on their own. They still need boundaries, but where do I set them? Which decisions should I make for them, and which should I leave up to them? I don't know. What was I thinking? I'm not smart enough to handle this parenting thing.
Can someone else take over for a while?
October in the Third Grade
8 months ago
6 comments:
Ask the Lord. A good friend of mine told me recently to "Just pray...don't stop." I think it is great advice worth sharing. It can't be easy and I wish I could say something better. Good luck with these decisions Tammy.
Oh parenting... Do we ever get it right? I know I am not near the teenage years and I am dreding it. To let them grow up and make their own decisions is going to be a very hard step. I think you are doing such an amazing job with your kids. They seem to be very intellegent and loving people with great heads on their shoulders. That is such a challenging place you are in at this point. You wish they could just see into the future and see what a great oportunity that would be. I am with Jessica and just pray...pray...pray! I can only imagine this is a little how our Heavenly Father feels about us when we have an oportunity that he really would love us to take and embrace. I am sure he is just waiting with his heart and arms wide open hoping we choose the right. Good luck!
I have no doubt you are doing a GREAT job!!! I am looking forward to the teenage years of my children, but at the same time, I know that it is going to be very trying and that I will not have all the answers! I do think kids needs boundaries, but I want that to be more when they are young so that when they are older they will be able to make good decisions on their own. I know that I am going to have many "mommy moments" when I will feel the same way you are feeling right now. Just remember, you are the best parent for these children and you are also in tune to the spirit - you will make the right decisions! Good luck!
I have no advice!! My 8 year old is already acting like a teenager and I already don't know what to do! I wish I could help. Good luck!
-April
I am a grandma now and still wonder if I did everything ok... My kids and I have a very close and open relationship. I spent (& still do) a lot of time on my knees! You will be amazed at the inspiration that you can receive for them. Hang in there. :)
I think you and David are great parents. As I'm finding out, you can only push your kids just so far. I think that the best you can do is to teach them how to make decisions on their own. My mom wanted a lot of things for me and I am sure I disappointed her high expectations repeatedly, but, they were my decisions (for good and bad) and I can look back on my life and say that I made them. No resentment there. Good luck. I'm having a hard enough time with my own. I hope they put their strong determination to good use.
-Tam
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